What is a geographic bachelor? Geo-baching, the unofficial slang term used by the military community, occurs when a service member has orders and their family selects to live in a different location, often the previous duty station or their home state, for stability. It’s a choice — a hard one — but it can be the best option in certain circumstances.

The decision to geo-bach can be difficult and multifaceted. Trust me, I know.

It is almost time for a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) for our family, and we are considering geo-baching. For more insight, I spoke directly with military families who have experienced geo-baching to bring clarity to the subject.

Why Geo-Bach?

Although most could not imagine living separately from their spouse, it’s a reality for many military families.

Here are five reasons a family might choose to geo-bach:

• Operational Tempo — The service member may be transferring to a duty station where they will experience more time deployed than at home, and their family retains more support at the current duty station or home state.
• Short Assignment — If the service member is only going to be gone a year or two, there is more stability for the family to remain in place. Every PCS move is expensive, exhausting, and stressful.
• Retirement — At the end of a military career, the family might choose to settle in their forever home.
• Custody Agreements — With blended families come custody agreements that can include keeping the child local to both biological parents.
• Homeport Change — In the Navy, a ship or boat that is homeported in one location may relocate, either temporarily for maintenance or permanently.

Pros and Cons of a Geo-Bach

A PCS is a major life change for every military family member. Deciding to geo-bach can be a complicated, tough decision or an immediate, easy one. Either way, it is important to consider the pros and cons.

The Pros of Geo-Baching

Career Stability or Advancement — Military spouses experience unemployment rates higher than the national average due to the military lifestyle and frequent moves. Additionally, military spouses earn approximately 38% less than their civilian counterparts. Some careers are not easily transferable with every PCS, and gaps in employment can be challenging to overcome. The family may be dependent upon the spouse’s steady income at their current location to make ends meet.

Owning a Home — Home ownership is both liberating and challenging, but the market can be unpredictable. Renting or selling may not be the best option at the time of orders.

Continuation of Medical Care — For those enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP), continuity in care and therapy is critical to long-term treatment. The interruption of care for a PCS and subsequent reestablishment, often accompanied by long wait times for referrals or a lack of treatment options in a remote location, can be detrimental to progress. In some cases, geo-baching might be the best choice for continuation of care.

Existing Support System — Having support from friends and family during deployments is invaluable and might not be available at the new duty station.

Educational Stability — Allowing military kids to finish high school with their peers or preventing academic gaps related to frequent moves can motivate many military families to stay. The spouse may also be enrolled in a higher educational program and unable to transfer.

The Cons of Geo-Baching

Being Separated — Living apart from one’s spouse takes a significant emotional toll and presents additional challenges to staying connected as a family.

Cost — Household bills quickly double: two sets of rent, utilities, and grocery bills. Naturally, increased costs for travel between the military family and the service member are also to be expected.

Housing — There is limited space for geo-bachelors on military installations, and the arrangement requires command approval. If there is space available and if approved by the command, it is not free. The cost varies by rank. Alternatively, service members may need to rent their own apartment or live with roommates while they geo-bach. Sailors may opt to live on a ship for sea duty, but that is far from ideal, with limited space and no real privacy.

Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) Differences — BAH is tied to the service member’s duty station. This can be problematic if there is a PCS from a higher BAH area to a lower BAH area. For example, if a service member leaves their family in San Diego to go to Norfolk, their BAH would significantly reduce. There can be exemptions in rare cases.

First-Hand Geo-Baching Experiences

For insight into the realities of geo-baching, I spoke to two military families who were willing to share their experiences. Both were Navy families, and both their geo-baching times included sea duty.

Rebecca’s Story

Military spouse Rebecca is the wife of a current reservist. While her husband was previously on active duty, they chose to geo-bach twice. The first time they geo-bached, Rebecca was pregnant with their rainbow baby. He missed the birth of their child due to deployment, but was able to manage a short visit while the baby was in the NICU.

The second geo-bach was in the midst of a homeport change during the COVID-19 pandemic. The military would not pay for their family to move from Washington to California as her husband was nearing the end of his sea duty. They were living in an apartment that had significant issues and were “digging for quarters to pay for formula.”

Rebecca moved home with their child to Pennsylvania to live with family while her husband returned to San Diego. While she had the support of her family, she was without a car and focused on buying a house sight unseen at their next duty station while her husband was deployed. Being with family meant she could work and make homeownership possible. She also executed a PCS alone!

“When they’re on a deployment, you already know you don’t have a choice. They don’t have a choice. You can’t just get on a plane and fly to them or pick up the phone and call them,” she remarked. “When I got on the plane and left [WA], my thoughts were ‘I could’ve stayed, we could have made it work.’” Rebecca shared.

Her overall experience was described as ”absolutely terrible,” and she “hated every second of it.” The pain in Rebecca’s voice was palpable while reliving their experience, especially when recounting their toddler asking for Daddy.

Diana’s Story

Diana*, a military spouse of three years, shared a very different, positive geo-baching experience. She married her sailor in 2022 when they decided to geo-bach. She had a good co-parenting situation with her child’s father, career stability, and family support as a single parent. Her sailor had only about a year left of sea duty before returning to shore duty, and she wasn’t quite ready to leave her support system in San Diego just for her new husband to deploy the majority of the time. He also didn’t want to put her through that stress.

They discussed the financial aspects of geo-baching and decided he would live on the ship, as BAH was not enough to cover two households. Overall, they “went into it knowing what they were getting.”

To ease the burden, her husband took leave to visit his new family as much as he could. They were also able to utilize the holiday and back-to-school events at the San Diego Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) location.

They are now in the PCS process and will move together. Overall, Diana and her husband recommended geo-baching, especially if children are involved and existing family support systems are already in place.

Reflection: Shared Challenges and Advice

Rebecca’s husband and mine were stationed on the same ship, and we met through a local coffee meet-up in Washington. We agreed that the geographical separations for the homeport change were harder than the deployments.

Both Rebecca and Diana shared the same advice for any military family considering geo-baching: weigh all options — the good, the bad, the ugly — and have a solid financial plan.

ASYMCA’s Military Family Support: Geo-Bach Edition

With programs and services designed to empower military families, ASYMCA meets the unique challenges of the geo-bach lifestyle, including:.

• Youth Resiliency Program – This free, after-school program can help military children adjust to their changing environment.
• Childcare and Preschool – With military spouse unemployment at six times the national average, accessible childcare is vital to dual-income families, especially for those geo-baching.
• Food Assistance – Food pantries and distributions can help stretch every dollar, making the most of a limited budget split between two households.

Whether your family decides to geo-bach or PCS together, ASYMCA can offer you a home away from home.

Learn More

*Diana is a fictitious name as she wishes to remain anonymous.