Becoming a first-time mom wasn’t in my plans for years to come. But last year, two weeks after my husband left for his first rotation (non-combat deployment), I stared down at the positive pregnancy test sitting on my bathroom sink — and a mix of emotions washed over me. Happiness, excitement, anticipation, and sadness pricked at my eyes: happiness because I was excited for the new beginnings of starting our family, sadness because my husband would be gone for the entirety of my pregnancy.

As a military spouse, I always knew there was a chance that starting our family might mean navigating less-than-ideal circumstances. I’d hoped that my husband would experience this life-changing event by my side, sharing the joy and excitement as each month brought us closer to meeting our son. But the reality is that many military families are separated for important milestones: school graduations, birthdays, first steps, and, in my case, my first pregnancy.

The next nine months seemed daunting. Although I knew that I would make it, the journey ahead didn’t feel any easier.

This is how I overcame my fear of braving pregnancy alone:

Finding My Inner Strength

After spending the first trimester with horrible morning sickness, I finally felt up to the task of preparing for the arrival of our baby boy. Without my husband there to support me physically, I handled all the heavy work of putting the nursery together. From building the crib to painting the room and collecting furniture, I completed the project solo.

All that time alone creating the nursery gave me the opportunity to think about becoming a new mom and what adding a little one to our military family would mean for us. I dreamed about family reunions where I’d get to watch my child run to his dad after being apart. I thought about the moments when it would become challenging to be a solo parent for long stretches. I realized how much strength it takes to be a military parent, and I secretly wondered if I was up for the task.

There were lots of tearful nights. There were nights spent solo in the labor and delivery section of our on-base hospital to check up on the baby. I went to every prenatal appointment alone. I listened to our son’s heartbeat without my husband present. But I knew it was going to be worth it as soon as I saw my little boy’s face, a perfect mixture of the two of us.

Reunited for New Beginnings

My husband thankfully returned just a few weeks before the Christmas season. I welcomed him home at nine months pregnant, ready to start our journey together as first-time parents.

When the time finally came to meet our baby boy, my mom, dad, and husband offered amazing emotional support. They talked me through my childbirth experience, took great care of the baby, and gave me the rest time I needed to recover. I was grateful to have such a strong support system. Being a new first-time mom was harder than I thought it would be, and I felt constant relief knowing I had a team in my corner.

Finding Your Team: The Armed Services YMCA

Military Parents: You have a team in your corner as well.

The Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) supports military families through childcare programs that include preschool, learning programs, drop-off care, and more. Select locations also offer food assistance so that you never have to worry about your little ones going hungry during tough financial times. Some even distribute diapers and formula. For new moms like me, there’s such reassurance in knowing there’s a community of support.

What I’ve Learned as a New Mom

Over the past two months of bonding with my son, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that even though taking care of a baby is difficult, it is so worth it to see their first smiles or hear their first baby noises. I’ve come to understand that without my village, I would be struggling. And I’ve learned to admire those who raise their children with no surrounding family members nearby.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that being a military spouse adds a whole new level to parenting. You worry when your spouse will leave again, whether planned or without warning, leaving parenting completely up to you. You worry about your babies not getting the childhood they deserve, with one parent frequently gone for work, and the constant cycle of moving to different locations where they’ll have to start over again and again. I’ve only been a new mom for two months, but I already worry about the struggles we’ll face as a military family, as you probably do as well.

But, at the end of the day, when my husband walks through the door and kisses us both, I know everything will be okay. I’m excited to show my son new places throughout his life, and I am grateful to the military because I know we’ll never go without. I know that even when my husband is gone, or we have to pick up and move again, I will give all my love to my child, and that’s all that matters.

Empowering Military Families

Military Families: You are strong. You are resilient. You are capable of thriving through the chaos that comes with being a part of the military community.

Always know that you are not in this alone. You have the resources to support you every step of the way, including the programs and services offered by the ASYMCA.

With your support, ASYMCA continues to uplift military families like mine through childcare, community engagement, and wellness initiatives.

DONATE TODAY