How do you create military family traditions when you are constantly moving, living far from extended family, and celebrating the holidays in places that don’t quite feel like home?

These questions are difficult, and there are no easy answers. Military families often navigate a mix of emotions during the holidays — from excitement to homesickness to loneliness — while trying their best to create meaningful holidays overseas. Sometimes that means bringing pieces of our childhood into this new season of life; other times, it’s embracing new military family traditions.

Celebrating the Holidays Overseas and Far From Home

Just the other day, I was chatting with another military spouse about the upcoming holiday season: Thanksgiving through Christmas. As we talked, she mentioned how difficult this time of year feels with family so far away. It struck me how strongly nostalgia and homesickness seem to hit around the holidays, especially for military families overseas.

There is something about craving warmth a little more in the colder months — not just the warmth of a cozy home, but the warmth of family, familiar traditions, and being surrounded by the people we love most.

We long for the magic of holidays at home: gathering around a table for a homemade meal, kids spending time with their cousins, shared laughter, and memories created together.

Before moving abroad, I took much of that for granted. Our house had a comforting, seasonal scent, the same people gathered together to celebrate, and the table was filled with the festive meals I grew up with. Year after year, these holiday traditions quietly created comfort and familiarity. It wasn’t until I was thousands of miles away from home that I realized how much those little things meant to me.

No matter the distance, time away from home makes you appreciate the little things you once took for granted.

Bringing a Little Piece of Home With Us

As a foreign military spouse, I have come to understand what it means to celebrate the holidays far from home. In many ways, I am always away — living in a different country and celebrating the holidays in new places. Over the years, I have learned the importance of bringing a little piece of home with us, no matter where the next duty station takes us.

For me, it is important to introduce my children to the traditions I grew up with. I am originally from Bulgaria, and Christmas Eve has always been the bigger celebration in my family. It is the quiet and intention of that day that means the most — a time when family gathers around the table, slows down, and simply spends quality time together.

Traditionally, we set the table with a particular number of meatless dishes (7, 9, or 12); always the same meals, tastes, and flavors, creating familiar rituals and setting the expectation that everyone will sit together and share the evening. While the table and food bring us together, family makes the evening more meaningful.

Discovering New Holiday Traditions in Italy

After 15 years living abroad, I have discovered that while it is important to hold on to where you came from, you also need to allow the places you live to become part of your story.

Living in Italy has introduced our family to celebrations, foods, and customs that were unfamiliar before. My older son attends an international school, where he has been introduced to celebrations and traditions from different cultures throughout the year. It’s a wonderful way for him to learn about the world around him and broaden his perspective on traditions and cultures.

Our family now gets to celebrate so much more — Bulgarian, Italian, and American traditions — and each one adds something special to what feels like an ongoing season of celebration.

For example, we start the holiday with a traditional Bulgarian Christmas Eve, followed by an American Christmas morning, and finish with an Italian Christmas Day lunch. And yes, it is an endless tasting of various meals and dishes — what better way to celebrate the holiday season!

Creating Traditions Our Children Will Remember

Military families often talk about the challenges of moving, starting over, and saying goodbye. But there is another side — the opportunity to create traditions that can travel with us. The meaning of “home” has changed for us; not necessarily a single house, but rather the traditions and rituals we carry with us.

And while some of those rituals and traditions carry through every duty station, others change depending on where we live.

I remember the year we PCSed to Italy; we moved in December, and I felt terrible thinking I was “robbing” my son of the Christmas spirit. The following year, I went all out: decorations, holiday-themed meals, and most importantly, a special Christmas countdown calendar filled with an activity for each day. It was one of my favorite things — a tradition I imagined I would continue year after year.

This year, though, after having a new baby and still trying to find our new normal, I was reminded of something military life teaches us over and over again: the only constant is change.

Letting Go: Presence Over Perfection

As much as I would love for that Christmas calendar to become one of the traditions our family carries with us, I also understand it may not always be possible. And perhaps learning to let go of those expectations is just as important as trying to create the perfect holiday.

Routines and traditions can be incredibly meaningful, but our children need our presence more.

Finding Home Wherever We Are

When extended family is thousands of miles away, the holidays can make that distance feel especially noticeable. But over the years, I have learned that military families have a special way of filling the empty seats at the festive table.

Time after time, we celebrate with other military families (also far from home), who understand exactly what we feel. Together we share meals, exchange gifts, and create memories that make a new place feel a little less unfamiliar. We call them friends, but they are so much more — they are our support system, and the family we need when our own cannot be there.

Home has changed. Home is no longer where I grew up.

It is the Bulgarian traditions I carry with me.
It is all of the places we have lived.
And all the memories we have created along the way.

The word “family” has also taken a different meaning: instead of parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, and uncles, it now includes the people we have met worldwide who have been there for us when we needed them most.

We don’t always get to choose where we live or who will gather around our table for the holidays. But we can bring as much of our traditions as possible to create familiarity and comfort. At the same time, we should embrace our new environment and the people we meet, allowing them to shape our story.

At the end of the day, home isn’t just a physical location; it is a feeling of belonging.

Home Away From Home: The Armed Services YMCA

The Armed Services YMCA is often the only constant in a military family’s life. And with the Mission Military Families campaign, that support is expanding to every base and installation across the United States.

Military life may change where the holidays happen, but family traditions can create belonging wherever you’re stationed.

Learn more about the Armed Services YMCA’s Mission Military Families Campaign and support service members and their families during this holiday season.

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